Florida Forever: The Everglades

We heard about this neat little park or petting zoo or something called “The Everglades” and decided to give it a visit. It was hellishly hot that day but, apparently, there were little lizards named “alligators” that lived in the park so we sojourned on.

 

Andy standing in front of the sawgrass prairie. No alligators here!

 

A really big bug called a “lubber grasshopper.” They are about three inches long and dumb as rocks. Do you think the alligators will be bigger?

 

 

Caitlin in the Strangler Fig Forest. Plenty of heat and mosquitos, but no figs. Or alligators.

 

Andy takes a moment to collect himself. Caitlin takes a moment to take an unflattering photo.

 

This is, perhaps, the most representative picture of the Everglades. Leading up to this moment, we had been swarmed – SWARMED – by mosquitos. As we walked down a path to a beautiful, placid lake, a cloud of the jerks rose up and nearly sucked us dry. Caitlin ran away and left Andy behind, who just stood there for some reason. We drove a little further to the coast. White sand, turquoise water, palm trees swaying in the breeze and swarms – SWARMS – of those cursed mosquitos. If our computers were cooperating, this is where we would have a video of Andy demonstrating the dire situation by stepping off the path, allowing a cloud of mosquitos to cover him, then freaking out and running away. After retreating into our car, the video would then show this vulture landing on a dumpster. And then another one. And another. And then twenty more. You would see how they surrounded our car and stared at us, patiently waiting our demise. I guess you don’t need the video after all.

Back inland at the pine forest, breathing in the fresh, mosquito-free air. Also, no alligators.

 

Caitlin got artsy with the camera.

 

Is this an alligator? No, more artsy stuff.

 

Caitlin and Andy by the water.

 

A rock.

 

Andy is really excited for some reason.

 

A white bird.

 

A green turtle.

 

And now…what you’ve all been waiting for…..

                          

                          

                          

LOTS OF ROCKS!!!!!!

 

So, the Everglades were beautiful and all that, but we were a little disappointed. Weren’t there supposed to be alligators? All we saw were lots of rocks. Hissing, green, scaly rocks that pulled a German child into the water. Oh well, maybe next time.