We realize we have failed to post in close to twenty years, and, for that, we are truly sorry. But we promise an eventual grand array of posts and pictures from your favorite little adventure squad of two. Until then, if anyone knows anything about lyme disease, shoot us an email or call the area hospitals. Thanks!
Florida Forever: Daphne, AL
The long drive through the Florida panhandle gave us time to mentally prepare for the backwater horrors that would be Alabama. We readied our cameras to catch barefoot old men playing the banjo on the porches of log cabins, territorial teenagers drinking beer in the backs of moving pick-up trucks, and Conway Twitty.
Our contact in the area was Caitlin’s cousin, Debbie (pictured above). We met her at a field where she was watching fenced-in young boys play what must have been some sort of primitive sport that involved hitting a small white ball with a wooden stick. We were unable to deduce the role of this game in the larger social context, but the players spend a great deal of energy to avoid getting “out.”
After the game, Debbie collected her child, Mark, and we headed to her residence. It was quite large and the main living quarters were some distance off the ground. (This detail made much more sense after we learned that there are large aquatic reptiles living nearby). We offered our assistance in procuring the evening meal and Debbie accepted. Andy prepared patties of cow meat which Debbie’s husband, Mark, cooked over burning rocks. The meat was well-enjoyed by all and we were given a room for the night.
Just one of the many carnivorous animals we encountered.
The following night we were invited to take part in a ritual known as “dining out.” We drove to a building curiously labeled “Ed’s Family Seafood Restaurant” and the group of us were given a table to ourselves where servants brought us many strange concoctions involving sea creatures.
Andy tentatively samples a local dish.
On this evening, the brave adventurers tried such foods as fried okra, fried crawfish, crawfish creole, seafood gumbo, and key-lime and mango pies.
Caitlin and Debbie.
Debbie’s and Mark’s offspring, Mark and Matthew.
Debbie and Mark, well-sated after the feast.
The view was agreeable.
As the night continued, a young man took the small stage near our table and began playing music on a stringed instrument that is most comparable to what most people know as a guitar. Strangely enough, this musician knew many songs by artists popular in the North, such as Dave Matthews and the Goo Goo Dolls. Surely scholars will puzzle over this phenomenon for years.
What a charming yokel.
The lights of some distant city – perhaps Boston or New York.*
Although Mark kindly offered Andy a job working on a barge where he would learn to chew tobacco and cuss, we continued on our journey the following morning. Our foray into the wilds of suburban Alabama had left us no worse for the wear, but much wiser indeed.
*Upon further investigation by our cartographer, this city was most likely Mobile, Alabama.
Florida Forever: Ichetucknee River
So, after leaving Uncle Kevin’s, Aunt Maggie’s, Danny’s, Grace’s, and Annie’s, we decided to take a little detour to what we were told would be the best and greatest thing we would do the entire trip. And we were not disappointed.
Ichatucknee River. Pristine really is the only word to describe it. We rented two little tubes from Lowe’s Tube Rentals and, although thwarted in our efforts to go to the top, we still were able to do an hour ride down one of the most beautiful places we’ve ever seen. (They close the top off after Labor Day. We were two days late). Turtles basking in the sun; us basking in it’s beauty. It was simply glorious.
We didn’t take any pictures for obvious technical reasons due to water and computerized cameras. And I’d say if we could post video, then you’d see what we are talking about, but there’s none of that either. But below is a pretty good representational photo found somewhere on the interweb.
If you are ever in northern Florida, this is not to be missed!
Florida Forever: Gainesville
After Delray Beach and the Everglades, we ventured up into the northern Floridian center for a little quality time with our favorite Floridian family. We had a great time eating local cuisine (teriyaki), swimming in the pool (Marco Polo, anyone?), taming the wild beast (Riley – see picture below), and getting up at the crack of dawn for some heartwarming goodbyes. Such a good time that we somehow managed to take only one picture. We did, however, take video. But you may never see that. Or believe that we do, in fact, have video.
This is the only time this dog sat still in someone’s arms. Uncle Kevin has the magic touch.
Florida Forever: The Everglades
We heard about this neat little park or petting zoo or something called “The Everglades” and decided to give it a visit. It was hellishly hot that day but, apparently, there were little lizards named “alligators” that lived in the park so we sojourned on.
Andy standing in front of the sawgrass prairie. No alligators here!
A really big bug called a “lubber grasshopper.” They are about three inches long and dumb as rocks. Do you think the alligators will be bigger?
Caitlin in the Strangler Fig Forest. Plenty of heat and mosquitos, but no figs. Or alligators.
Andy takes a moment to collect himself. Caitlin takes a moment to take an unflattering photo.
This is, perhaps, the most representative picture of the Everglades. Leading up to this moment, we had been swarmed – SWARMED – by mosquitos. As we walked down a path to a beautiful, placid lake, a cloud of the jerks rose up and nearly sucked us dry. Caitlin ran away and left Andy behind, who just stood there for some reason. We drove a little further to the coast. White sand, turquoise water, palm trees swaying in the breeze and swarms – SWARMS – of those cursed mosquitos. If our computers were cooperating, this is where we would have a video of Andy demonstrating the dire situation by stepping off the path, allowing a cloud of mosquitos to cover him, then freaking out and running away. After retreating into our car, the video would then show this vulture landing on a dumpster. And then another one. And another. And then twenty more. You would see how they surrounded our car and stared at us, patiently waiting our demise. I guess you don’t need the video after all.
Back inland at the pine forest, breathing in the fresh, mosquito-free air. Also, no alligators.
Caitlin got artsy with the camera.
Is this an alligator? No, more artsy stuff.
Caitlin and Andy by the water.
A rock.
Andy is really excited for some reason.
A white bird.
A green turtle.
And now…what you’ve all been waiting for…..
LOTS OF ROCKS!!!!!!
So, the Everglades were beautiful and all that, but we were a little disappointed. Weren’t there supposed to be alligators? All we saw were lots of rocks. Hissing, green, scaly rocks that pulled a German child into the water. Oh well, maybe next time.
Florida Forever: Delray Beach
Hurricane Gustav hightailed it over to New Orleans on the same day we had planned to do the same. We decided to be gentle(wo)manly and give it the run of the place while we stayed put in Florida. After visiting Kieley on the gulf coast, we decided the trip would not be complete without completely covering all Floridian ground, so off to Delray Beach we went. (Where we never did see the beach, but that’s another story for another day.) After a series of bad directions, we managed to find our way to see Cousin Beth, Rob, Sassy, Rascal (whose name says it all), and Bad Kitty (ditto).
This is Beth’s lovely birthday present for her father. We won’t mention that it was all junk she found in her closet at the last second.
Beth, there were ants in your pool. They bit us.
Caitlin licks the Frontline off of Sassy’s neck.
The dogs sit still long enough for a picture after an exciting night. Beth and Rob let a lost dog into the house. Sassy isn’t fixed and the lost dog earned the nickname, “Remy the Red Rocket.”
Rascals plots her assault on the iguanas of Beth’s yard.
And now, for your viewing pleasure… DRUM ROLL PLEASE… a VIDEO!!!!!!
.
.
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Oops. Well, maybe not today.
In other news, we still need our bathing suits back. Thanks.
Florida Forever: St. Petersburg
After our morning at the swamp, we bee-lined it from eastern Georgia to St. Petersburg on the gulf coast of Florida. Speed traps in po-dunk towns and sketchy gas stations did their best to slow us down but, at last, Caitlin was reunited with her besterestest friend, Kieley.
Celebrating their 18th anniversary as BFFs.
Caitlin performed a miracle and got Amadeus, the elderly bearded dragon, to eat for the first time in weeks.
Andy and Amadeus took a nap together. Not seen: Amadeus waking up and flipping out.
Caitlin and Andy watch a swimmer drown in the lagoon.
A tokay gecko. Extremely aggressive and their bite can break a human finger. We caught anoles and watched it beat them against the stucco. Note as fun as cock fighting, but it’ll do.
Kieley.
Kieley’s fiance, Ari. He catches snakes.
Is that lamp wearing a hat?
One of Kieley’s paintings.
Hurry! Make sexy poses on each other’s cars for some reason.
Editor’s Note: They were commemorating the reunion of their respective cars. It was momentous.
Other Editor’s Note: Oh, that’s really interesting.
First Editor’s Note: I’d say a real good retort here, but my mom is the real editor and won’t let me.
Our last stop in St. Petersburg was at this road sign, which gets its name from Caitlin’s parents’ nickname for her.
Hurricane Gustav kept us in St. Petersburg for an extra night. At this point we were two days behind schedule. So, we threw out the schedule and enjoyed our time with Kieley and Ari. We went to go see “Hamlet 2,” wasted an afternoon watching “Constantine” on TV, and ate a gallon of tortellini soup. Andy and Ari caught live bait in the lagoon and fed it all, along with 17 hooks and yards of fishing line, to a shark. Oh, and a little Asian child danced for us at a restaurant. Good times had by all!
The Oh-So-Exciting Okefenokee
Let’s call this DAY 3. Perhaps it was Friday. Perhaps it was Georgia. We know it officially said the Okefenokee Swamp Park. We also know it wasn’t the Okefenokee Swamp we were trying to go to. Apparently there’s more than one part. But it was interesting, to say the least.
Our admission tickets included a tour of the park by train. There’s no better way to see the wilderness than to the tune of an aging diesel engine.
This brave Seminole died so that sweaty white people could feel cultured.
Andy loooooves trains!
We saw no birds. No birds!
Some tools that help make turpentine! Turpentine is made using sap from trees. Turpentine has many uses. Many cleaning products include turpentine. Did you know that turpentine is used as an ingredient in many cosmetics?
Turpentine!!!!!
A bear made out of dead vines. Sweet.
For fifteen glorious minutes, we were allowed to explore a place called Pioneer Island. It wasn’t so much an island as it was a part of the park that we drove by on our way in that is completely accessible by foot or by car.
An indigenous swamp creature.
Proof that we are taking video, even if we aren’t able to upload it.
Caitlin loved the goats. Andy just fed them boiled peanut shells.
Look! An alligator! And it has a second face that comes out of the middle of its upper jaw! Must be all the turpentine in the water.
Caitlin was a differently-abled bear in a past lifetime.
The set for their nature show. It depicted what life was like for the Cherokee Indians who lived in the area before the government sent them on a happy little hike to Oklahoma.
“Lure of the Wilderness”? Our favorite movie of all time!
The sign reads, “Seminole Village.” Apparently they were very small.
The reptile handler at the reptile show. He whispered to the snakes.
Seconds later, we were rushing to the hospital.
The tour guide kept pronouncing this as “Haffert,” so we thought Caitlin might be the Okefenokee heir.
What a day! We learned so much about so many things. Too bad we’ll never get to come back.
2nd Night: Camping in Georgia
The first night we roughed it at a Days Inn. The second night we camped at the Laura S. Walker State Park! Someday the videos will upload and you can see the likes of us putting up a tent and making a fire. (It took two hours…but only one match!)
It was very, very, VERY hot.
The All-American Swashbuckling Wanderlust Romp in F Sharp 
